How to get rid of negative thoughts?

All of us have negative thoughts then and now. Though there are lot of workshops, seminars, preaches about positive thinking and fostering positive thoughts, one cannot easily stop their automatic negative thoughts.

Why there is ANT? Automatic Negative Thoughts?

  • Individuals are born with death instinct which is nothing but anticipating possible ways of getting killed or killing
  • It is easier to escape than to stand against any threat. Escape mechanism evolved with Fight or Flight response for any danger an organism faces.

Without much details on how negative thoughts has evolved, let’s get into the smartest way of dealing with it.

Step 1: Be aware of your thoughts. Sometimes without any conscious awareness negative thoughts just grow like a tree with strong root system where it would be tough to cut the negative tree with the axe of positive thoughts. So it is very crucial step to identify your negative thoughts as soon as it pops in your thought system.

Step 2: Most prominent feature of negative thought is “Why this happen only to me?” Do not let the thought grow, because every individual have their own problem. Remember that, if you are facing problems, believe that it is given to you since you are capable of solving it. Have faith in your self 🙂

Step 3: Negative thoughts are like yeast, it just doubles in minutes and doubles the flour in hours. Likewise, single negative thought can shutter the thinking and intelligence you possess. So do not let the ANT doubles instead focus on the root cause of your Negative Thoughts. Write down the thoughts and have a track of it for a week. At the end of the week, analyse it and give rational explanation for each of it.

Step 4: Once you started the rational explanation for the ANT, be aware of the emotional part. Make sure there is no explanation based on emotional decisions.

Step 5: Rate your negative thoughts once in a week after giving the rational explanation. In a scale of 0-10 . Rate 0 if you can control the ANT for that week and 10 if you cannot control the ANT.

Step 6: Last but important, do not personalise if you are not able to rate yourself 0 after a week. It takes time to heal. So be patient, most of us in the same boat as you are in.

Hope, you find it useful for reducing your Automatic Negative Thoughts. If you want to talk more about it mail me @

Does Wind chime improves Mental Health?

I love Wind chime, most of us love Wind chime for it’s decorative purpose or we just got attracted to it intuitively, right?

Asians, specifically, southeast Asia, East Asia people are the forentires in the use of Wind chimes. Ancient history about wind chime connect us to the Feng shui.

Feng shui

Feng shui basically deals with the attraction of positive energies in to the house while eliminating the bad ones. Feng shui gives the guidelines on how to organize a house in order achieve the maximum positivity. Let’s come back to the Wind chime, created by Chinese back in 1100BC. It was developed in the same motive as Feng shui does, to attract positivity and eliminate negativity.

From the Buddha period, wind chimes are hanged along the windows, porticos, Temples and in entrances. If you give into the logical reason behind hanging wind chime, it was used mostly by the people who reside along the coastal area. They used wind chime to know the direction and speed of the wind when their livelihood was based on sea.

Materials for Wind chime

Wind chime originally made with metals, heavy ones. With time, people made it with glass, wood, plastic and Clay. If we look into the culture and the materials, north west and west people created wind chimes with metals while southeast and east people’s choice was wood.

Metal wind chime

The rods for the wind chime, material that was made of would affect the sound it produces. When acoustician analyzed the frequency, pitch, tone they identified that metals of first quality produced soulful sound when compared with recycled metals. Aluminum gave the best sound out of all the metals according to their research.

Mental Health and Wind Chime

According to Charles, professor wind chimes in kitchen and dining would help the children to eat greens and food they dislike. He proposes, that wind chime actually the high pitch sound brings out the sweetness in the food and makes it taste better.

“Wind chime brings out the sweetness in the food”

Sounds make our body to vibrate, sorry not only body but sound travel through the wall also. The science behind the wind chime is so obvious, when we experience the sound’s influence on our body and mind. Wind chime produces sound very soothingly, which unconsciously and without much attention given to the sound, it enters our body and do influence our mind. It was proven that peppy songs and folk songs tend to increase the aggressiveness in humans even inside the womb. While melody and soft songs tend to stimulate the neurons and increase the brain’s activity like concentration, memory.

Music is an universal communication, which influence our mood, mind and body. Having a wind chime in our house is going to benefit us through the beauty of it ( warm for our eyes) and through the music ( God’s composition for our ears).

When we dive into the spiritual side of wind chime, it was believed that it attracts the positivity and Eliminate the negativity. Wind chime can be used as a decor in the house and to showcase our creativity.

If you are really interested in gaining the true benefits of wind chime you can find it here, shops which are specialized in making it with classical touch.

Power of words and Thirukural

Have you been a victim in word’s game? Okay, am not talking about words building game but a real one, have you ever felt victimized in an argument or over a chit chat??

There is a famous saying, Pen is mightier than sword. It means words are strong enough to wound any one. Now, I remember another saying, which goes like, Silence is better than words. Both of it’s is contradicting but gives immense meaning to the person who get victimized. Why do I call it as victimized?? Anyone who get ill treated by words could be a victim!

Each one of us would have experienced the sharpness of the words, when it comes from the beloved one’s mouth… That sharpness would either hurt you or make you strong. Words have that much power, isn’t? I remember the couplets from Thirukural,

இனிய உளவாக இன்னாத கூறல்
கனிஇருப்பக் காய்கவர்ந் தற்று. (குறள் 100)

iniya uLavaaka innaadha kooRal
kani-iruppak kaaikavarnh thatru

English explanation: When pleasant words are easy, bitter words to use,
Is, leaving sweet ripe fruit, the sour unripe to choose

“Words”, only humans can use to communicate their wants, wishes, desires and more. Words have a positive and negative effects on each one of us. All optimistic words, words which make you feel good such as love, warmth, care and kind will have an positive effect on you. Research shows that, positive words actually stimulate the frontal lobe activity, area of brain that is responsible for higher order cognitive functioning. And the negative words, words that hurt one self and others, triggers the amygdala, brain area responsible for emotions, secrets stress hormone which hinders the logical reasoning and language processing.

Words do wonders! Right? Negative words from loved ones hurt you much and positive words form the same person makes you feel loved and stronger. Language is higher cognitive functioning, learning languages improves individual’s thinking capacity.

Often words have different meaning when it gets combined with facial expressions and tone, pitch of voice. Remember, a warning from Dad will induce the fear, but warning from a friend or stranger would create anger in you. We connect the meaning of the words to the person in our life and based on the importance of them. Words do influence us in all way. It makes us angry, fearful, anxious, embarrassed, happy, sad and more. As Thiruvalluvar said, using good words to bad words to convey a message is like eating raw food when cooked one is there.

Keep a watch on the words you use, whatever the situation is, like what Thiruvalluvar said, “

யாகாவா ராயினும் நாகாக்க காவாக்கால்
சோகாப்பர் சொல்லிழுக்குப் பட்டு.(குறள் 127)

English explanation: Whatever besides you leave unguarded, guard your tongue; otherwise errors of speech and the consequent misery will ensue

Because hard words hurt one self and others. Teach children to use positive words, let’s all practice to make the habit of positive speech.

Is it possible to live your Life the way you want??

Live your life, Your Life – Your Rules, There is no tomorrow, Live like you are going to die tomorrow and much more… To make you feel motivated to live your life the way you wanted! Okay, but is it actually working out?

Every one of us having dream for their life. Not everyone wants hassles in their life, right? Just ask yourself from the bottom of your heart – do you living the way you wanted it to be??? The answer can either yes or no or don’t know??

Your answer can be Yes to some phases in your life and No to some of the part in your life! Because mostly it’s not living, but “surviving”. Living is different from surviving, right?

I tell you this example, when you do shopping, if you see the price tag first and then going for a trail will tell the difference between living and surviving, isn’t ?!? Being an human in this world, needs lot of more than basic needs. Because people brain are evolved in that way! You cannot simply get satisfaction by living the way you want since we are depend on each other.

Our lives are intertwined!!! In psychology, they call it as “Social exchange theory”. We live by exchanging our cost and benefits. There is a slightest difference between pretending to be living their life and who actually live their life! Individuals until their 60’s may pretend to living their life but after attaining the true wisdom of life, they will evaluate it again.

And people who actually live their life would have been started to write autobiography at their 60’s, because it need, to live the life they wanted, it take courage, sacrifice, dedication, motivation, integrity, facing criticism, challenges, persistence, persuasion, power, self efficacy and kindness. After 60 also there is a life, but that mostly would be a result of their past 60 years. With the shopping reference, if you aim to shop without seeing price tag, you do damn work for it which includes whatever I said like courage and all.

Individuals are of two kinds, they get satisfied with what they have and others don’t. Living the life you wanted purely depends on your idea of the life!! It start developing from the childhood with the reference they have around them and it get consolidated in their adolescence or young adult hood. It is different for each individual and they set their own criteria for living their life!! But individual’s should have a watch on their reference on which they build on!

Ultimate goal is to have a fulfilling ( fully functioning life) life experience at the death bed or at old age. We all strive for that, each one of us have different path to go for the single destination. In this great universe, we are from milky way Galaxy, in Earth, in Continent!!!. To compare that universe, we are just a dust! But our brain capacity is much more bigger than the universe which keeps us busy thinking for ourself, right??

We are labelled as “humans”, like every other species we used to label. We got our chance to be in this world and we call it as life, if there is no sixth sense, even our life would been like every other animals but with the sixth sense we trying to make the best use out of it by setting so many goals, destination and more. Life is simple, sometimes, we live our life, the way we wanted, at times, we tend to live the way the life want us to!! It’s like infinity problem that goes on and on with creating and comparing the “Life “, and the way to live it. To end, keep this in your thought, Each one is unique! Keep living !!!

Why there is a boom in Art Therapy???

In this quarantine period, there is a lot of webinars happening focusing mostly on Art therapy.

What is art therapy?

It’s based on psychotherapy and works well through the expression of self using different kinds of creative art works such as drawing, painting, music, dance, doodling etc. Individual tend to ventilate their emotions, feelings and thought in the form of chosen art.

How does it work?

Art therapy includes painting, dance, music composition, singing, making things with clay, making masks, using needle and thread, embroidery, Mandela, finger painting, making collages, making sculpture, photography, textiles and digital way of expressing one’s feeling, emotions and thoughts.

Does art therapy influence our brain?

It’s developed from a simple concept. Let’s say, brain control all our movements and we control brain areas using different kinds of activities. To be precise, art and creative works such as painting, coloring, doodling and drawing affect brain activity. And there are no test to exactly define the process in brain during art work but some tests and FMRI shows researchers a hope on increased activity on prefrontal cortex. Pre frontal cortex plays a major role on higher cognitive abilities which gives the reason for the boom on art therapy related webinars!

Okay, let’s take a look into the historical views of the Art. Term art therapy was coined in 1942 and it rooted from our causal drawing and painting and doodling as a means of ventilating repressed thoughts, emotions and feelings.

When we take deeper look in the form of art, it’s a communication of heart and soul to the outer world, doodling, body movements, humming, making sounds/ music and every other form that is non verbal but uses other body parts to convey the message or express one self.

If we take the alphabets in every language, is a feature of geometrical shapes. Language rooted from the art and we communicate with that.

Each culture has it’s own heritage of art form, for example, In India, rangoli kolams played a major role in the form of art. Simply following the cultural heritage ( art form) may have an remarkable effect on the brain areas, especially, pre frontal cortex!

If we take carnatic music, it’s too old and gave enormous positive effects. Each discipline has it’s own history and following those definitely give us a path to well being.

Now a days, art therapy is helpful in treating variety of mental disorders like, depression, eating disorders, ADHD, autism, anxiety and more.

It’s time to foster our children, family and friends to engage few minutes of their life in the form of art in order to enhance their mental and physical well being!!!. And do not forgot to comment your favorite form of art!!!

Does High Self Esteem really works??

What is self esteem? To put it simply, it’s about the evaluation of one’s resources. If you think, you are good at what you do!! It’s high self esteem but if you think the other way i.e am not good at what I do, then it’s low self esteem. And there is other side of self esteem – called “pretending to be high self esteem” and “pretending to be low self esteem”.

In all these four cases, it actually helps and degrades the person in other way around. Let’s see how, a friend of mine, will work hard to achieve her goals if she “pretending to be low self esteem”, because high self esteem backfires her!!

In another case, individual stay stagnant once he/she faces the critics. There the individual faced the problem and need to move on by ” pretending to be high self esteem”, in order to gain motivation and fueling the positive of him or her.

The other two notions are high and low self esteem. It will fluctuate every minute, hour, day, week, month and year. And for girls PMS is attached as an package!!

Self esteem won’t work the same way as it does for your friend or any other individual. Blindly following the Google results on ” How to improve self esteem?”, May not give you the result that you expected. Every individual is unique. So work on your areas.

100 likes. I Am Grateful to my followers….

I started to write in this quarantine though I had an idea of blogging for very long time, say from 2016. It needed a lot of courage and motivation and boost and whatever you call it. I needed all those. I mean ” I NEEDED ALL THOSE”, to start writing.

Am a part time Counseling Psychologist and full time Assistant Professor in psychology. It’s my passion from 2011 to work for Mentally disturbed people and somehow I am pursuing it to make progress. I wanted to help people with what I learnt for these many years and references from ancient literature. I got the first like and first follower – my husband @kishorelogesh and @cristian mihai. It was like really a great motivation to write another day. It’s been 2 months since I started writing and wrote 20 posts. I swear it’s not easy because of the difficulties I face. But my inner sense will say, ” my followers are there, you need to give them the new information, they should feel their 2 mins read should be useful to them”. This is my Moto whenever I start writing.

I received 100 likes and it’s like, OMG!!! Because, To tell the truth, in my college days usually I get grade B in my English subjects and thought of like, am not good at it, but today I say myself that you know English which helps you to communicate your information and those grades doesn’t going to judge you for the whole life.

I write for you my darlings. You are my motivation. I want to reach every corner of the world and spread knowledge and help people to help themselves!!.

Thank You my Followers

Fear of Missing Out ( FoMO) & Mental Health

I was checking my mobile in a gap of each second. I was expecting some notification, later in turned into a habit.

I was chit chatting with my friend and hubby and noticed that they were kept telling I don’t have ” any Personal Time”, for themselves to feel relaxed. And I also started to observe the people around me and to the matter of fact, they were literally into their mobile phone, checking for the notifications.

It is tough during this Pandemic and lockdown, particularly those who are doing Work From Home ( WFH) experiencing this FoMO often. Fear of Missing Out is an emotion, could develop as social anxiety which could affect the individual’s mental health.

To put it together, people before this pandemic situation may not experienced this FoMO since they were in intact to their office, projects and their responsibilities. But now the situation demands all the workers to be online almost 24*7. This pandemic has turned this world into upside down and everyone feeling some constraints over other.

So the responsibility that each individual taken to do justice for their work or out of compulsion and every other passionate people do indulge in this checking behaviour of their virtual contact more often. If you undo this pandemic, you can imagine that people do check their mobile but out of compulsion then, now they are in the kind of pressure to check it regularly in order to be intact i.e FoMO.

Strategies to deal with FoMO

  1. If you check your mobile phone to see time, wear watch or have a small clock on your table.
  2. If you are checking it for the officer call or message, set up an different ringtone for office, friends and family.
  3. Practice Time Out. And scale yourself with a 0 to 10 scale on how much you crave for your mobile phone. Keep practicing until you reach 0 keeping high carving with the rating of 10.
  4. If this FoMO is happening to you only during this WFH, clearly make a statement to the office about your availability and give them emergency contact and make sure they use of it purpose.
  5. Make sure you engage in out door activities with heart and mind together, it can help you in detoxing your digital addiction

Fear of Missing Out can happen anywhere not only in social media or internet. Fear of Missing Out is acceptable depending on the individual’s reaction to it. For example, I fear not to miss out my friend’s party, favorite movie and many other things. My list is wide and keeping an reminder of those help me to stick on my to do list. But here am concerned only about the Digital Fear of Missing Out.

Fear of Missing Out is not an disorder or disease. It’s an emotion but can develop into an addiction. Social media or internet de-addiction centre has been opened in some corners of the country. So if you are not able to follow above measures, and the restlessness when you are not checking it, consult near by doctor.

Emotional Eating

I was watching a horror movie with a bucket popcorn. I was damn into the movie that I didn’t even notice I finished it wholely.

Okay, does any of you had the same experience as I mentioned? If yes, then you indulged in “Emotional Eating”. Most of us have this habit of watching television or Instagram or read books and eating their breakfast, lunch and dinner even snacks too.

The following are considered as emotional eating:

1. Binge eating when you are stressed.

2. Without any awareness of, what the food is?

3. Failing to notice the taste of the food, texture of it and every other details of the food you eat.

4. Eating food or snacking as a means to boost your thinking capacity.

5. Munching food items at various intervals as an addiction is an emotional eating.

To put it simply, eating without mindfulness is a kind of emotional eating.

How to eat with mindfulness?

1. Start eating with consciousness.

2. Eating with hand enhances the experience of mindfulness than eating with a spoon.

3. Mindful eating is about allowing all our senses to feel the food that you eat.

4. Firstly, allow your eyes to see the food then eat your food through eyes. Let your salivary gland to do it’s work.

5. Then feel the texture of a food, for example, a piece of chocolate – let the chocolate run through your fingers while you feel the shape of it and soft creamy texture of it.

6. When you put the food in the mouth, let the food i.e chocolate to swim in it. It’s more like advertisements, where you close your eyes and making the chocolate swim in your saliva and feel it consciously.

7. Lastly, swallow with the fulfilment of tasting the food with all your senses and enjoy eating with mindfulness.

Benefits of mindful eating:

  • Practicing mindful eating will help you to stop emotional eating.
  • Mindfulness is about being in present. So this act of eating for about 30 minutes will give you shot equal to that of meditation.
  • Emotional eating can lead to obesity, acidity and other physical illness. Whereas mindful eating helps you to adapt a healthy life style.
  • Mindful eating is about chewing the food so it helps the digestive system.
  • When you practice this, you take control of calories and also lose weight.
  • Being mindful helps you to control your anger, reduces anxiety and eliminate unhealthy eating behaviors and promote well being.

High Achiever’s Motivation

People are of different kinds, few people who don’t get satisfaction and people who get satisfaction with what they have, Let’s take these people in the view.

Motivation to climb

High Achievers tend to have goals. It can either be Long term goal or short term goal or both. They stick to their goal.

They analyse the pathways to reach the goal. They evaluate the pros and cons of doing an action in order to reach the goal.

They act smart. They use strategies to do a job in a simple way. They don’t complain rather they utilize the resources optimally.

They look for more and more information, they compare their standard with others in order to improve theirs and ways of it.

They take responsibility of their actions and show willingness to lead a team or any head position. They do it in very disciplined way. Though people talk about various facts on being clumsy, if there is a need, they look for perfection.

They take time to enjoy their achievement. They enjoy it and again start to look forward and set a goal. They repeat it. They don’t settle for nothing.

They take failures without any fear. They learn from it and bounce back even stronger.

And they are good predictors of the risk in any task. They are binded with high need for achievement so they take moderate risk to keep their ego intact.

High achievers see tasks as challenging and try to gain gratification by succeeding in it.